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I’m sorry y’all, but I’ve taken issue with these:High efficiency, front-end loading washing machines. If you’ve just spent two hours convincing your husband to drop an extra $200 (or more) on one, then you may want to stop reading. If you haven’t fallen in to the craze yet, then I ask you to reason with me. What in the world about this machine will make your life happier?! Will your children spend several minutes watching it cycle for the first 5 loads of laundry…yes. After that, I think the benefits are highly debatable.

What about front-end loading is good? You go from letting gravity help you drop in the arm- load of clothes and tiny loose-cannon baby socks, to crouching down on the floor while you shovel your load in–against gravity–and drop all those little socks. Then, you (and your children) watch with amazement as water comes into the machine. But there’s a problem with the design, and I bet if you have one you’ve called the maintenance man at least once to come service it. The problem is that small items, water, and soap (that are lightweight and therefore hurled most dramatically outward by the great centrifugal force) get caught in the little window apparatus. This can lead (nominally) to dragging clean clothes back through soap on the way to the dryer or (much worse) to stinky mildew in the window. “Oh but Abby,” you say. “I am using less water and saving the environment and my wallet.” And I am sure that you are, but why not just turn that little tub on its side and let it use gravity, along with its centrifugal force. You may have to use a little more water, but I bet you could use less force (thereby using less energy).

And do you really want to wash your clothes by the same method that our grandparents used to wash the dishes–making the bath of soapy water, throwing in all the dirty dishes, then pulling them out and calling them clean after we rinse them with a little water. Does it LOOK like that food infested, soapy water should be qualified to clean your dishes? That is precisely what that little bit ‘o water is doing to your clothes.

I know that there are hundreds of engineers a lot smarter than me that designed these washers. I feel sure that I am wrong, and with a television from 1984, a microwave that used to adorn someone’s dorm-room (and I AM still listing MICROWAVES as gadgets), and a brain that has only recently discovered that it IS indeed possible to control the volume on an i-Pod, I am not the one to talk to about all the latest gadgets. But if you ask me, these washers are a waste of money. We can use less detergent in our normal, top-loading washers, without having to crouch on the floor to do laundry. Did your old washer take 45 minutes to run??? Does that SOUND like you’re saving electricity? They say you can do larger loads, but that is a pile of CRAP. Maybe my washer is some kind of super-sized dinosaur, but I can sure fit a heck of a lot more in my washer than those new things.

So, if you’ve already got one, then at least you’re looking fancy and all your neighbors are jealous and you can pat yourself on the back because there have been “studies” done that say you’re saving the planet with those little amounts of water you’re using. If they go out of production in a year or so (as I am predicting they will), then hold onto it because they are sure to bring you a bunch of vintage value money on eBay in about 30 years. Happy Washing :)!

(Because I am betting a lot of you have one, and I don’t want you to be too unhappy with money you’ve already spent, go here and be reminded why it is you fell in love in the first place.)

So I’ve been gone a long time…a really long time, and I don’t have a whole lot of an excuse. I came back to blogging with a bang a few days ago, but my husband and my Dad both thought it was too much of a bang, so I listened to the male majority and took it down. If you read my post (in the whole hour it was up) about the person who hurt my feelings, I would like to give you an update. I am scared to speak too soon…but I think I may finally FEEL forgiveness in my heart. Sound the Hallelujah Chorus!!! It did not come from writing that scathing blog, instead it came from talking to my Dad (after he told me to stop airing my dirty laundry on the world wide web:)) and realizing the SOURCE of all that anger. It wasn’t the woman as much as it was what she called me–a fake person.