Pace’s dear friend (and our neighbor) Natalie turned four recently and was celebrating with an angel birthday party. Pace helped me come up with the idea of angel dresses for 1) the birthday girl’s present and 2) for she and Dapples to wear as part of their costumes to the party. Unfortunately, these great ideas did not start taking shape until a few days before the party, sooo I was still stitching like a madwoman on Friday night when I got a text from Natalie’s mom (Lauren) telling us that the birthday girl was horribly sick with a fever and the party would have to be post-poned to the next weekend…WHEN WE WERE GOING TO BE OUT OF TOWN. I think I was even more devasted than Pace was. All the cute dresses and nowhere to go.
So, to appease both of us, I told Lauren that as soon as Natalie felt better, we’d like to have an angel tea party at our house to celebrate (and wear those dad-gum dresses I’d spent all that time on :)).
Then, I started picking up the knee-deep toys in the playroom so that we could actually get to the kids table without breaking something. I thought I remembered seeing a pink candle in the bottom of my purse at some point…AWESOME (what does that tell you about the state of my purse?). 
Next, I gave a nod of thanks to my mother-in-law, who has taught me by example that beautiful things are no good if you don’t enjoy them. I applied this theory to my china and decided I’d rather have it be broken being used by some little girls who I’d made feel extra special, than be kept perfectly safe always resting in my china cabinet. (Pace ran out and picked that flower/weed from our yard…what a sweet little touch)
And there we were. Just in the nick of time. A tea party for three little angels.
This is how we handle hot tea for little lips. Pour it hot. Add lots of cream and sugar. Then dump in a couple of ice cubes…perfect.
Mary Aplin wasn’t so sure about how to handle her fancy cup that didn’t have a lid or a straw. She decided the doggy lap was the best option.
I don’t know if they had as much fun as I did…but I think so.
Meet. Lucy. Is your heart melting like mine is? Lucy has made Whitney (my best friend since second grade) and Cole an official “family.” I’ve been counting down the days until her arrival, but I wasn’t ready for how much I was going to love her. I love her mama…and her daddy, and I knew she would be special to me…but it’s love. We didn’t have long together, she and I, but can you see how she bores into you with those eyes? She’s so alert; it’s startling. It’s like she takes you all in, immediately, and holds you prisoner. Then there’s her soft olive complexion, and those kissable lips, and those tee-ninetsy little feet, and that baby smell. I’m gone.
You know how there’s some people you know, and then there are those few that you actually know even better than you know yourself–that’s Whitney to me. I would say that I am probably my worst self around her, and vice versa. You know why? Because she may be the only person (well, besides my family) that I feel ok to let my absolute self out with. You know the self that had a bad week and needs somebody else to absorb a bit of the blunt force trauma. She gets that from time to time. I did try to spare her that side this past visit…only because she was in a hospital bed 🙂 She’s one person who I know will tell me if the outfit I’m wearing looks atrocious or if I need an attitude adjustment (she is often one of my blog screeners :)). Although, she still hasn’t completely forgiven me for the time I dogged her brand new shoes, in a VERY loud voice, as she lay helpless in a chair, with hands stuck down her throat in the crowded orthodontist office in our home-town. Hehehe 🙂
But enough about us, this is about her. Little Lucy
That afternoon, after I left the hospital on a joyful puff of air, I kept trying to figure out what exactly it was I was so happy–relieved even–about. I decided there were two main reasons. The first was the joy of seeing my best friend become a mom. As said before, because I know the good AND bad of Whitney, I’m gonna be honest and tell you there was a part of me that was nervous. I know how she likes her sleep (I was once literally clawed in college for trying to wake her), how she shies away from all things nasty (I always had to do her share of scooping horse poop at summer camp), and how pain is not something she deals with lightly (I think she took more trips to the campus nurse at Auburn than any other student. Sickness was not an option). So maybe (especially those of you who are moms already) you can see why I could love her and be scared for how childbirth/motherhood was going to settle with her. But y’all, as soon as I saw her with Lucy, I knew it was all going to be ok–better than ok–perfect. I just kept telling Whitney how proud I was of her, and I think she was sort of confused. But what I was trying to say was, “I was stupid to be worried. God made you just perfect for Lucy, and it’s beautiful to watch you fulfill this new role with grace and style all your own. Sorry my heart ever doubted friend.”
The second reason I was so happy, came more slowly. For some reason the line from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 kept playing over and over in my mind, but I wasn’t sure why. It’s a love sonnet, as in romantic love sonnet, and while I love Lucy, I wasn’t sure that particular sonnet was appropriate. The line was this, “O no! It [love for those who haven’t read the rest of the poem] is an ever fixed mark/ That looks on tempests and is never shaken;/ It is the star to every wandering bark [ship],/ Whose worth’s unknown though its height be taken.”
As I watched Whitney and Cole, I think I saw Jeremiah and me after we had both of our girls. I was aware enough, then, to know that I felt like a “deer in headlights,” but I could not step out of my fear/love enough to see what I was truly experiencing. And that was it, the poem. After you hold the new little life, that God has miraculously trusted you with, for the first time you are bombarded with all the emotions that you do feel and all the ones you think you’re supposed to feel. In actuality, you don’t really know this new little person at all. You don’t know what they’ll look like, or enjoy; if they’ll be spunky or demure; if they’ll make you laugh more often than cry; and (more immediately) if they’ll let you sleep or keep you up all night…you just don’t know. It’s like the picture Shakespeare created of the boat. You’re out there, floating along in an unstable little craft. You can plot out schedules and make plans, just like a sailor of old, plotting his course by the height of the stars, but you can’t know the true worth of what you hold in your arms. You can sense that the love is there, and it’s big, but the magnitude of it, the nebulous force, is frightening.
It was amazing to be able to step back and see the beginning of all that love. To know that they were scared stiff and excited and feeling confident and useless all at the same time. It made me so happy. Little Lucy, the culmination of all those feelings, made me so happy. I love y’all.
Hello??? Anybody still out there??? It’s been a long break, and I feel like we have so much to talk about. I think I’ll hit the major things that have happened in the last month…as briefly as my wordy self will allow.
Then, there is Mary Aplin. Oh my word! I think she is frustrated because she can’t communicate (as in say words), even though she has caught on that WORDS are how you get things done in this world. So, in frustration, she pitches fits about E V E R Y T H I N G!!!
Don’t y’all want to come over??? 🙂 Have Pace hang out and hold onto one leg while Mary Aplin pitches a fit by the other. Tell me it’s just a phase, and that this too shall pass. Even if you don’t believe it, tell me anyway, cause I am going BANANAS.
Caroline (my sister) got engaged to Riley Blair!!!! He flew her to JH Ranch (in California) where they met, and got down on one knee. I love that guy, and there’s something about adding a brother, in a family stocked full of estrogen, that is an exciting breath of fresh air. Let the planning begin!
I ran 20 miles on Saturday morning. TWENTY!!!!! Jeremiah asked me if anything was hurting on my body. The answer is, “Everything. Is that abnormal?” Everybody told me running a marathon was mental. SOOO mental. And it is. But I’d like to add that it is PHYSICAL as well. Somewhere around mile 17, every time, my body starts to shut down and I want to cry. I feel like my legs are made out of jello and it sort of amazes me to look down and see that they are still, not only holding me up, but moving. I seriously don’t know how I am going to run six more miles. I am scared.
There has been some exciting stuff happening with my little business. I can’t go into all the details, but check out my etsy, cause I’ve added some new items, like this:
something for fall, like this:
and wouldn’t you love to get a onesie all packaged up in a little bird’s nest like this: 🙂
The Camera:
I spent some money and bought a good camera. It feels like Christmas as a kid, when you get that toy you’ve been dreaming of for so long. You keep looking at it lovingly and thinking, “You’re mine. ALL mine!” Jeremiah and I had been talking about it forever, but he just kept saying, “I think you’re right, but let’s go look at them together and decide.” I saw that the likelihood of him being off work during normal business hours AND willing to spend the time shopping–was slim to none. So I just went, on a random Wednesday morning, and bought the one I’d been drooling over. I made sure I could bring it back (if Jeremiah had an aneurysm), but I did it. It was sort of surreal.
