I’d like to start this post by apologizing for not taking more pictures of this momentous day. My Dad got married, and one of best friends got married…and I’m only posting a handful of pictures. All I have to say for myself is that it was a conscious decision to be present in the day instead of a watchful observer through a camera lens. There were photographers at every event, so hopefully I’ll be able to post some more real shots soon.
At 10:30 AM the Bryant and Clark families joined forces “til death do us part.” Konie has four children (2 boys-Justin and Jared, 2 girls-Jessica and Jenna) just like we do, and we are now officially BIGGER THAN THE BRADY BUNCH 🙂 Both families have lost a parent, and are a loving tight-knit group…It’s going to be a trip figuring out just how we are all going to mesh…when you consider that our IMMEDIATE family (with spouses included but not even beginning to count grand-children) will now be 18-members strong. I think we’re going to have to special order a dining-room table 🙂
It was an intimate ceremony–just Dad, Konie, and their children, in the backyard of one of Konie’s closest friends. I don’t think I realized, until the ceremony started, what in particular I had been so anxious about concerning this moment. However, as Dad and Konie turned to face each other, I realized what it had been–Mom and Dad renewed their vows three (seemingly very short) years ago. That was a very intense experience for me and still vivid enough that I could almost palpate it. I was terrified that watching Dad and Konie would feel like an eery twilight zone–the same but different, and I was fearful of how bad that was going to hurt, and what my reaction would be (there in front of my new family).
The Lord spared me that grief. As I watched Dad and Konie pledge themselves to each other, I realized that this was not deja–vu, because Konie is not my Mom. This was not a re-do, this was a “new flight,” as Dr. Fain so beautifully said. The only time I even got a lump in my throat was when Dad and Konie recited “in sickness and in health.” Even then, the lump wasn’t grief for my Mom as much as a prayer that this time Dad wouldn’t have to know so much sickness…I’m ready for them both to enjoy a little more of the “and in health,” part of marrigae. I don’t know any two people who deserve that more than they do.
So, there are no pictures of the ceremony, or of the beautiful and delicious brunch we shared as a new, very large, family 🙂 I did get a couple shots of Dad and Konie after we went back to her house to wish them off on their honeymoon:
Justin (Konie’s oldest son) grabbed a bag of Kettlecorn from the pantry, so that we’d have something to throw. (And yes I’m going to tease you by only showing our new family’s backs. I just don’t have any good group shots, and I want to do them all justice.)
The girls were present, and brought a nice element of comic relief to the morning:
And while I didn’t cry at all throughout the potentially-super-emotional morning , I have burst into tears about eight times at the sight of this picture Taylor snapped of me telling Dad goodbye…
whew..it’s still gettin‘ me!
This picture cracks me up for some reason. That vision of Southern elegance in the middle of a smattering of bridesmaids, is B, Lindsay’s grandmother. Just typing her name has added a drawl and a lilt to my thoughts. We all (the bridesmaids) got dressed and pampered and pictured at B’s house before the ceremony. Everything about B and our little party was p.e.r.f.e.c.t. I don’t believe she knows how to do things any other way 🙂 I love the South, and I love elegance, but when I saw that there were decorative sterling fork holders, to contain the monogrammed, silver forks…I realized I was dealing on a whole new level.
Lindsay’s dress was made for her from a combination of her grandmother’s (B, mind you) and mother’s dresses, and was so simplistically beautiful! Then that veil. That VEIL! Oh my goodness, it was gorgeous!!! Solid lace that had been worn by three generations of women in Lindsay’s family. I wanted it bad y’all. Do you think it would be weird to wear a veil with my Easter dress?? 🙂 They don’t even make lace like that anymore and don’t think this picture does it an iota of justice.
My favorite part of Lindsay’s wedding was being close enough to see the way that she and Jon Mark rubbed their fingers over each other’s hands all through the ceremony. It was like they were both saying, “I’m here. It’s just me and you and God. And forever has never looked so exciting.”
I’m not going to touch the reception, because with pink roses and green orchids covering the Birmingham Country Club…I think it may have been the nicest reception I’ve ever attended. I need pictures to take you there with me, and since my neighbor Bryan did the photographs, I can hardly WAIT to see the beauty he must have captured.
Whew! It’s all over!!!
For the past month or so I’ve felt a bit like a toy of Pace’s. It’s a fairy with big collapsible wings and a long rope hanging from her feet. You wrap the rope tighter and tighter around her, and when you have her all bound as tightly as possible, you rip the rope as hard as you can and she goes spinning and flying all over the room. The rope’s been winding tighter and tighter around here, but I haven’t been able to find anybody to help me rip away the chord. I actually found myself mopping the kitchen last week and thinking, “If I had a genuine nervous breakdown, maybe I would get checked into the hospital and I could really rest.” THAT’S when you know you’re going nutso–when the hospital sounds like a fun break!
I told y’all about last week’s list…and getting sick. I did get my taxes turned in and have been chipping away at all the paper-work that has to be completed before Jeremiah can begin his fellowship in Seattle. It’s just that it wasn’t only the physical stress of having a lot of things to check off my “To Do” list. I was dealing with some mental anxiety as well. 
We were facing our second wedding without Mom. We were facing it without her…and with Konie. We were facing it without her, with Konie, and with my normally very sensitive Dad, sporting the sensitivity of…a tree stump :). Before I go any further, let me point out that I would not be telling you any of this if I had any anger, or even anything negative to say about Konie. She has been the picture of kindness, discretion, helpfulness,…absolutely great. Konie is not the problem. The hard situation was the problem.
Most men don’t like to talk, especially about awkward things like emotions or relationships. My Dad has never been most men. He lived in a house with five women, and while he is a man’s man from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, there is also nothing in the world that he likes more than to have us all gathered around him for a good talk. However, when Dad is under stress, his people skills and his emotional radar don’t tend to function very well. We know this. It’s not a new condition, but when you combine his extremely high stress level (wedding at his house, planning a lot of it himself, his own wedding a week away, taxes, demolition/remodeling beginning yesterday to get ready for Konie to move in, 2 daughters in college…) with the sensitive matters being handled you get a volatile mixture to say the least.
So, on Sunday afternoon, when the wedding was over, Taylor and I sat down at our dining room table with Dad and vented a whole lot of crap. And cried. And talked in circles. And cried. And could hardly talk because we were crying so hard. He listened, apologized for some things, explained some others, and also had a few areas where we had hurt his feelings as well (which I didn’t know was possible–shows how sensitive I am). It ended in hugs and relief, and eyes that were so swollen (on my part) that I could hardly keep them open.
I slept the entire drive back to Birmingham–until I was awakened by Jeremiah calmly but severely stating, “Abby, you need to wake up because something b.a.d. is happening with the car.” I opened my eyes and we were bu-bu-bu-bumping our way down the shoulder of I-65. A tow truck, some divinely placed family members that could cart 2 adults, 2 children, a dog, and enough wedding luggage to clothe a small country on to Birmingham, a friend who works at a Chevrolet dealership down the road from the break-down site, and $1300 later (agghhhh!) and all is well, with the car.
I, however, was still not doing what I would call well. I felt like somebody had significantly loosened the rope binding me, but it certainly wasn’t ripped off and letting me fly around the room. And then… … …I took my first run in real Spring weather. I almost didn’t go, because I still have a lot to do, and today was the first day my sickly lungs have felt 50-75% better. But I just WENT, and about 200 yards into the run I knew Somebody was about to set me free. I let it all go, pounded right out under the bottoms of my shoes. With the sunshine on my face, and cool air filling deep down into my lungs I let Winter out and welcomed Spring in. Then, I spotted the biggest Japanese Magnolia I’d ever seen. A profusion of big pink blossoms stretching towards the sky, a green lawn, and crisp white house in the background, and Somebody had ripped the cord–I was flying.
On the drive home from the gym, we rolled all the windows down and I pointed out the beauty of the Japanese Magnolia to the girls. They proceeded to squeal with delight and point out each one that we passed (which are a lot in our neighborhood right now). We took the long way home just because none of us could get quite enough of the beauty and the wind. It’s funny what He uses, isn’t it? 
**I “stole” both of these flower pictures from Google images. My camera is still in my car in Clanton 🙂
