• I feel like most people who read this blog know that my Mom passed away almost three years ago. She had ovarian cancer. I am finding that I go through periods of time where I miss her more than others. I’ll bounce through months just fine–being reminded of her occasionally, missing her at big events, but grounded with the greater realization that she is happier and healthier now than all of us down here on earth. However, I also go through periods where she seems to be everywhere–a mis-glance in a mirror and I think I see her, she frequents my dreams, and any big event that occurs seems unbearable without her to share it. I am just coming out of one of these latter periods.

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    I don’t know what triggered it. Maybe it was all the stress of moving out here and making several life-altering decisions in a row? Maybe it was because we read Same Kind of Different as Me on our drive out here, and it stirred so many memories of the times when Mom was sick? Or maybe I’m just always going to go through these times, and this was one of them. It’s always small things that hit the hardest, like Mrs. Linda buying me a new sweater and my immediate thought being, “I can’t wait to show this to Mom, she’s going to love it!” And then the crashing remembrance that I can’t show it to her. Or getting the girls settled in a new school and missing our phone calls where she would listen and agree to ad-nauseum to every teeny little fear or hurt feeling. Or planning the girls birthday party and longing to share the details with her.
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    So, in that state, I was feeling a little nervous about my Dad and Konie’s visit. Konie is my Dad’s new wife. She lost her husband (who was an orthopedic surgeon just like Jeremiah, side note) to cancer a few years ago and is probably the most genuinely sweet person I have ever met.
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    She has a child-like heart and love of life,

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    And she loves my girls so endearingly (sending balloon messages to God).
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    Most of all, she and my Dad are happy together, and I (as a daughter) have the peace of knowing he is not alone.
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    While all those statements are true, and I feel them to my core, sometimes it is still. hard. It just is. I wish I could blame some fault in Konie, but I can’t. She, in all truth, does everything right. She has jumped into our lives and been a supporter and a helper, without stepping over any boundaries. She is easy and fun to be around, and I know I could call her and she would be there for me, no matter what. So what in the world is still hard???!
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    I think I figured it out asI said goodbye to her. I think the lingering problem is my loyalty (insert stubborn, pig-headedness, but I’m going to use loyal because it sounds a lot nicer :)). There are people from HIGH SCHOOL, that still make my insides recoil if I run into them. You know why? Because they cheated on, or hurt the feelings of, or said something nasty about…one of my dear friends. It was like I pegged them a mortal enemy from that moment on. A lot of times, I can’t even remember what they DID, but I just know it was something bad. Now, we’re talking high school bad, so GET OVER IT PSYCHO-PATH (which is what my husband very rightly says to me if I ever make the mistake of telling him). I have had moments, when people hurt my family members, that I have questioned my propensity for murder. Don’t you hope your kid is the bully in my kid’s class at school?! 🙂
    I think you get the point; I am pretty loyal. As I hugged Konie good-bye I felt like my Mom whispered in my ear, “It’s Ok to love her, Abby. It’s O.K.” And that was it. I needed to know it was Ok–that I wasn’t being dis-loyal to my Mom by embracing my Dad’s new wife. What felt like an inherent need to protect and serve my Mom was misplaced. In reality, Konie is protecting and serving Mom by taking care of the man who was most precious in her life. And it is Ok to love her, even if it were only for that.
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  • It has become clear to me of late that blogging for men is much like a man wearing a pink shirt – not a red shirt that looks a little pink from a distance– but an authentic pink shirt. One that actually impresses other males that see the wearer. A couple of my friends have walked bravely into blogdom, and they never even looked back. I enjoy reading this blog best of all, but I have been known to follow some of my friends’ wives’ blogs as well. I try not to talk on that too much. By the way, I grew weary of Abby’s blog inactivity and so this is Jeremiah writing.
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    We have, as you know, been in a new world for the last few months. We both knew we needed to come. I had my reasons and Abby had hers and many of these were the same. I love the South. I have loved it my whole life and that has scared me a little. I can remember leaving for college and trying not to count the years when I could return to the farm that had impressed my life so much. Many want to leave the “small town” they came from and return only for the obligatory check-in with the family. For me, my greatest memories at an impressionable age happened in the woods at our farm – many on horseback and many in hayfields. Why would loving my home scare me?
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    I think all of us have a desire to know what we are capable of outside of what is familiar and comfortable. Sure I love the farm and thrive on it, but there was a whole part of the world that I didn’t understand – The big city… It has always intimidated me. One of my favorite lines from a John Denver song that I often quote to Abby as we drive through the country is: “…mountain rivers and country livers set my mind at ease”.
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    There’s something settling about that kind of life. When I think about living in a large city, I wonder, “Where is the outlet for those people?”. They’re not getting on horses and escaping to the woods, and I assure you they aren’t throwing hay in the barn to let off steam. So the question became, “Can I make it in that kind of environment?”. I don’t mean just survive, but really be happy somewhere other than the familiar. Could I learn to enjoy the same outlets that people in a big city enjoy? I think Abby and I both had to know that – or at least she obliged me and agreed. (Abby would put a smiley face right here but I’m not ready to do that yet.)
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    Seattle has brought with it many challenges for us. The four of us started from scratch in a new town without friends or fellowship, and living in a remarkably shady 1-bedroom apartment. An absolutely perfect setting to engage our questions! This kind of situation takes you back to the basics of your faith and leads you to seek out fellowship and adventure rather than waiting for it to come to you. You have no other choice. That is uncomfortable, and that is what I was looking for.
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    Before we came out here, I struggled with whether or not I should be doing something in the foreign mission field for this year instead of doing extra training. I think one of the main reasons I struggled with that was because I knew the foreign field would bring out any and all the best in me and my family, as opposed to relaxing in the familiar. It was a hard decision because I really wanted to do spine training but felt that maybe I should do missions–to serve other people who were different than me in a very different place. It wasn’t until we arrived in Seattle and I realized how different it is here and realized that perhaps I had been provided with both the opportunity to train in spine and be in a “foreign” place that brought all the discomfort (and more) I was seeking. That sounds crazy, I know.
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    It is wonderfully challenging here and sometimes Abby and I remind each other, “Hey we live in Seattle” and then can’t stop laughing. We have seen some of the most magnificent landscape I have ever laid eyes on and have seen mountains and rivers that seem too good to be true. We get in the jeep almost every weekend and head somewhere new to explore and still feel we haven’t put a dent in the wilderness here. I really didn’t think I would ever say this but we have a beautiful view of the city, and I love it. The high rises are down to the left and the bay to the right as we look south and that refreshes you just to look on it. On a clear day, we see Mt Rainier; on a cloudy day, we know it is still there.
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    The highlight has been the relationships we have made. I haven’t found a lot of people here that I have a lot “in common” with, and I love it. Most of my friends here don’t do the same things with their free time as I do, but I’ve learned we are plenty alike. We were made by the same Creator and we recognize the need for true friendships and that is enough to generate real fellowship. I am learning people are quite alike and really have similar needs and desires regardless of where they live in the world and that is a valuable lesson.
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    I haven’t learned how to do Blogging cliff notes so this is too long but here is my current thought. We were all made to be challenged and stretched to beyond what we think we might be able to do. I am glad we came to Seattle to experience that. However, most anyone could go to a foreign land, rise to the occasion it takes to survive and possibly even thrive. What I am learning is the remarkable discipline it requires to engage a challenging life in a place that is comfortable and familiar. That requires far more intention and self-discipline and I admire those greatly who have learned how to do this. The fact is, when you are in a foreign land, you are quite aware of your surroundings as your mind perceives all this new material. You also have a tendency to reach out to people because your normal distractions are absent and you aren’t walking around like a zombie to do all your busy tasks. You are forced to engage the challenges that just living brings you and all of a sudden…. lasting memories are made.
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    It is like a person trying, unsuccessfully, to diet for years. They fail because they are too busy and never really commit to the diet. They somehow get shipwrecked on an uninhabited island and are forced to survive on the sparse healthy foods available in that desolate place. Of course they lose weight – it required no discipline – just survival. But they certainly rose to the occasion to survive and they benefited nonetheless. We are like that person on the island who rises to the occasion of survival and we are far better for it. I love where we are and would choose it again in a second, but eventually even this may become comfortable and familiar. I want us to learn the discipline to live that kind of fulfilling life no matter where we are – to wake up to the challenges to be met and the relationships to be had. I know few people like that, but I admire them greatly.



  • There are two basic home styles that make my heart beat fast. One is the English cottage: stone, steep gables, heavy rugs, candle-light, firewood, meandering passageways. The other is the farmhouse, and here my style preference diverges. I like the traditional white painted wood exterior, wrap around porch, tin roof, wide-plank pine floors…but Jeremiah doesn’t. Soooo, the other farmhouse style we both grow giddy over is the converted barn: wide-open architecture, rustic charm, a hay loft where kids can play and sleep, plenty of wall-space for my bookcases with that rolling ladder :). That’s not a style I would imagine finding in the middle of Seattle’s Capitol Hill district, but find it we have! Welcome to Melrose Market

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    It’s a grocery store of sorts, with two different restaurants inside as well. Every time we have company come to visit, we tell them we want to take them to a delicious sandwich shop called “Homegrown.
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    The sandwiches (and breakfast, for that matter) are delicious. However, the food is merely a happy accessory. I come to drink in this beautiful space.
    On warm days, these windows all slide to one side, virtually eliminating one wall. Welcoming you to step right in…
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    And peruse the cheese shop,
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    And meet the butcher boys (who had just asked me if I was going to make them famous :)),
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    Swoon over the fresh vegetables and flowers,
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    Even the sweet little bread cart makes me smile. However, the hidden gem, is at the very back of the market. I go there first usually, before I even order my sandwich…
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    It’s my dream kitchen in restaurant form.
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    The name of the restaurant is Sitka and Spruce. I’ve never actually eaten there, but they cook while you eat and watch. And use spices from this delightful spice rack
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    Does the marble and bead board make you squeal too?
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    Is the open fire in the back MORE than a dream come true??? What about the industrial range? Small change request, very small, but I wish those pots were copper. We are dreaming, right?
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    Even leaded glass windows and burlap curtains.
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    Aghhhh. Now the song “If I Had a Million Dollars” is playing in my head. How about you?
    I’ll leave you with a teaser picture from our weekend, AND the exciting news that JEREMIAH will be in this space soon. I don’t know why, but he told me he wanted to write a blog. I don’t know what he plans to write about (he was very mysterious and hiding the computer from me when I tried to peek), but it’s sure to be interesting!
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