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I don’t know how many of you saw the post I put up yesterday morning, but it was basically one of the songs Jeremiah has recently written. There was something a little…stark about it. When you here a song sung, you have to strain to catch all the words, the music softens things a bit, but when you just type it out as poetry it puts the writer out there. Anyway, I of course let Jeremiah read it before I posted his thoughts and he spent an entire day telling me he just wasn’t sure. Then yesterday morning, as he was walking out the door for work, I asked him again if I could publish it and he said, “Just go ahead, I guess.” So, I posted it. Was happy to share a beautiful piece of him with you. But then he called back mid-morning and sort of panicked at the thought that he was so out there on the world wide web. I understood. I have to work hard to keep myself from deleting a lot of my posts. But, I took it down. I did, afterall, say I wanted to be trustworthy of the heart he shares with me. I just didn’t want those of you who did read it, to worry that we were in a fight or something. I DID get permission before I posted it, that permission was just retracted 🙂 Maybe he’ll get brave later and I can put it back up!

I’ve known some guys who wore their emotions right out there in the open for everybody to view. That’s all well and good, but I could not be married to one of those. I love a rich chocolate layer in a man, but I want that layer to be hidden. In fact, I want to feel like I am the only one who has access to it 🙂 If you met my husband you might think: 1)There’s a guy who very precisely cuts people open for a living…and likes it 2) There’s a guy who doesn’t think about if his baby needs a diaper change unless the smell knocks him over 🙂 3) There’s a guy who likes to be active and outside. Or Even 4) There’s a guy who’d kick my butt into next week if he saw me looking at his wife the wrong way…and all of those things would be very right. What you might not think is: There is a guy who just finished writing this song:

It interrupts the darkness. It interrupts my rest.
A golden ray of morning, fills my eyes and warms my chest.
As my eyelids slowly open, long before I can see,
I touch the skin of my lover, sleeping close to me.
As I pull her body to me and clutch her fingers in my fist,
Once again I find the sun has beat me to my morning kiss.

Chorus:
The sunrise is wakin‘ me and remindin‘ me of where I am.
Sunrise is tellin‘ me to leave this bed the world’s at hand, but
Sunrise don’t you think that, I’m just a man and I need some rest for now.
But your in my eyes, fillin‘ up my mind, telling me:
Make way the darkest night, for the morning light to fill my eyes.

On my way to the window, I cannot help but smile
To see lines of dust within the rays as they linger for a while.
The leaves and hills roll out before me, just as far as I can see,
But well known to my mind is every bend of every tree.
Now the creek cannot be seen from the place where I stand,
But I know where she lies, cause her fog drifts close at hand.

Chorus (but second line is different):
The sunrise is wakin‘ me and remindin‘ me of where I am.
The sunrise is tellin‘ me to do what it is I think I can but,
Sunrise don’t you think that I’m just a man and I need some rest for now.
But you’re in my eyes, fillin‘ up my mind, telling me:
Make way the darkest night for the mornin‘ light to fill my eyes.

Bridge:
I can draw the shade. I can close the door,
But the blackness can stay no more.
If I take my leave from this bed,
Can I follow as by the light I am led?

Chorus
Repeat first verse.

I wish so badly that you could hear him picking this on his guitar and singing it. I will tell you that the first time I ever heard that “sun stealing a morning kiss” line, I nearly raped him 🙂 In all seriousness, he is the most all-around talented musician I’ve ever met, and there’s no voice in the world that can put me at peace like his can.

I love that I get glimpses of his heart through his music. I love that we still have moments when a cloud passes over his face that I can’t decipher and that there are pieces of his heart that he still hasn’t let me see completely. I feel like it’s my privilege to draw those little pieces out of him, to prove myself trustworthy of the parts he’s offered, and I am thankful God has given me the rest of my life to learn it all.