We’re having a baby!! It’s still pretty early; I’m only 8 weeks along. However, I went to the doctor a couple of days ago, where I saw that little fluttering heart beat, and I just can’t hold it in any longer. The due date is New Year’s Day 2012, which pretty much guarantees we won’t be meeting this little one until sometime after that (my babies tend to want to stay warm and comfortable until about a week after I’m due).
The girls have been a lot of fun about this whole thing. They were praying with us before, that God would send another baby to my tummy, so having all of our prayers answered has been exhilarating. Pace asks me most every day if I know yet whether it’s a boy or girl, and then she reminds me of the baby’s size (which is, currently, about the size of a blueberry). Mary Aplin puts her little hand on my tummy every day and asks, “Bigger now Mommy?” I’m afraid it is. I feel like I started showing approximately three days after I found out I was pregnant. Not enough that I look right in maternity clothes, but enough to make you wonder if I’ve been eating cheeseburgers and downing beers lately….It’s awesome 🙂
I have been very nauseated and hormonal, and I’m not sure which is more manageable. Jeremiah thinks the nausea is much easier to handle :), but I would tend to disagree. I was horribly sick with Pace (until about 20 weeks), not nearly as sick with Mary Aplin (I thought maybe my body had mastered the whole pregnancy thing), and now I’m somewhere in between–but tending closer to Pace’s pregnancy than Mary Aplin’s. Because I’m sure you all want these details, I’d say I’m nauseated off and on every day but only actually throw up four or five times a week. Funny how pregnancy makes you want to get graphic and assume everybody else is interested in your graphic problems. I will spare you some of the other issues…be thankful.
I had a heart-broken blog-friend email me a while back and ask if I ever felt like some of the joy of the last two babies had been stolen by the fact that my Mom was struggling with/dying of Ovarian cancer. She could not have known the deep inward struggle that would follow her question, but I went on quite a journey. You see, I have felt that way. While I am unbelievably thankful and feel so blessed that my Mom was with me throughout both of my pregnancies, was able to teach me/take care of me after I had Pace, and met both of my girls–at the same time, her sickness overshadowed both experiences for me. With Pace, she was taking chemotherapy during my pregnancy and recovering from the treatments as she tried to help me recover from having a baby. With Mary Aplin, she was at the hard end of a long struggle and passed away when Dapples was only 8 weeks old. I don’t know that my Dad knows this, but I called he and Mom three different times to tell them I was pregnant, and every time I called there was new bad news with Mom. Twice, I hung up the phone, not wanting to mingle my happy news with their devastation. The third time, I just told them despite the fact that we were all crying. My time in the hospital after Mary Aplin was born was one of the darkest periods of my life. I’m pretty sure the nurses had me on suicide watch, and I had an encounter with an angel/nurse who found me crumpled on the floor in the bathroom crying my eyes out in my hospital room. It was too much to deal with at one time. Sometimes I look back, and I don’t know how I lived through all of that…except my faith…and my husband…and my two sweet symbols that life does go on…
Anywho, you get the idea. My blog friend’s question was spot on. What I realized as I analyzed her question was that I was still dealing with those feelings but in an unhealthy way. I felt like I’d taken every major step in my life at the wrong time: I got married before I graduated from college, I had Pace too soon after we’d gotten married, I’d had Mary Aplin when Mom was so sick. Each life milestone seemed like mixtures of joy and hesitation with our families. As a first born, people pleaser I had determined that I was NOT having another baby until everybody was on board. I wanted Jeremiah to be done with his training–so nobody could say we didn’t have enough money to have a third child. I wanted Pace and Mary Aplin to be old enough that nobody could say we didn’t space them out enough. I wanted to be back in Alabama so that nobody could say we were crazy for having a newborn that far away from help. And MOST OF ALL, I wanted everybody to be healthy…
I didn’t speak these things out loud, but it was all going on in my heart. I was trying to control everything surrounding this third pregnancy. I was trying to have a perfect pregnancy…and I couldn’t get pregnant. I had gotten pregnant on birth control “accidentally” with both Pace and Mary Aplin and now I’d been off my medicine for five months and there was no baby coming in my “perfect” timing. What I realized, when my blog friend asked that question, is that I had put myself in the place of God! Did I really think I was the author and giver of life? Did I really think I was just going to mix A and B, whenever I was good and ready, and make C? It’s the miraculous gift of life, and who in the world did I think I was to try and control that?
I suddenly wanted to slap myself in the face for ever referring to my two sweet babies as “accidents.” I became so thankful that He had given me Pace and Mary Aplin, exactly when He did–because His timing is perfect. I was humbled and prayerful, instead of proud and planning. I hurt deep for other Moms who struggle for years with infertility, when my meager five months seemed excruciatingly long.
And now, on the day when I finally come to tell you that He has answered our prayers for another baby, I also wanted you to know how gracious I really feel. Not only am I thankful that He has begun new life in me but that His timing is always more perfect than mine.
Congratulations!!!
God’s timing is the best. I too have not understood when
new life comes at the same time as someone dear passes away.
Very insightful
ABBY!!! hooray!! I just knew it! Please lets catch up soon when you arent feelin’ sick 🙂 I want to hear more and Im so thankful for all you shared here on Storywood….so thankful for the Lord and his perfect timing and we will definitely keep you and your little one in our prayers! I love and miss you!
This reflection/writing has made me tearful. I too have been thinking too hard, planning, waiting, etc for the right time for me (and everyone else) to have our first baby. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for your encouragement to put God first.
Congratulations! …even though I don’t know you at all – I am still so happy for you and your family! Thank you for sharing all these very intimate thoughts – I am in between joy, sadness and my eyes are struggeling with tears. I will be thinking about your post for a while …
What absolutely wonderful news! I have been reading you for sometime and I really appreciate reading through your thought process and conclusions. Our theology, at least our mental assent to what we know about God and His ways, does not always (and in my case, unfortunately not often) shapes the way we go about life. But in His grace, when He opens up our eyes to let us have these ah-ha moments where we see His work–what we know to be true IS true. Praise God. He is in control, through the joy and the pain.
Congratulations!
“God is always on time never early and never late.”
A wise woman shared that quote with me and it has been such a blessing. So, happy for you!
so very, very excited for you guys! none of these things in your life have been at the “wrong time”. maybe from the world’s perspective on things, but God knew long ago that each of them would happen when they would happen. encouraged by reading how He transformed your thoughts. praying for relief from the nausea and for joy to surround this sweet little one. counting down the weeks!!!
Congratulations!! Was great to see you guys the other night. Let’s get together again soon
What wonderful news to share!!!! Lucky baby, luck Maddox’s family!!!! Welcome, little one— into a great world and yours will hold a lot, a lot of love!!!! Gods timing is so perfect!!!! God Bless each of you down this wonderful, wonderful road and journey!!! I am so thrilled for each of you!
hey abby – fabulous news1!…and now i have someone to parallel pregnancies with! 🙂 i havent announced it on our blog yet, but we are “accidentally” {i DO hate using that word…i prefer to say “surprisingly”} expecting our third as well. considering our second is only seven months old, we are quite overwhelmed but definitely feeling Gods gracious blessings and timing! who are we to think we are in control?! i have to say – i LOVE that it is all in His hands…cause honestly i dont think i would make even a smidgen as much of it as he does 🙂
hope the nausea fades…im eleven weeks and its starting to die off….a little…
I knew this post was coming, I just didn’t know when you would reveal your secret 🙂 Taylor let your secret out to me when I got suspicious. I called Taylor one day to see what she was doing. She told me she was watching the girls while you went to the doctor, although she tried to pretend it wasn’t “that doctor” I knew she was not telling the truth because she is a horrible liar and I have known her too long. Finally, she spilled the beans about your good news on our excursion in Seattle a couple of weeks ago! Congrats to your family.
congrats to you and your family! how exciting! you’re right – everything is in god’s timing and we cannot control anything no matter how hard we all try to sometimes. such a sweet story, and i hope your pregnancy is wonderful!
can’t stop smiling! love you and jeremiah and your three little ones. thanks for sharing your heart in this post. i’m praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy, and that you’ll be a bit late like in the past so i can be there for his or her arrival 🙂
LOVE you!
Congrats! This news is great news! You always have a way with words and this is written perfectly. I always enjoy! Hope the nausea improves.
Even though I already knew, I’ve been so ansy waiting for THIS post:)) yay!!!!! And you know we are so very excited!!!!!!!xoxoxoxo
I have wanted to comment here before, but was too chicken. 🙂 I’ve been following you for a month or so now and can I just say “thank you” for everything that you write?! You are always a blessing to me and I can identify a lot with what you say. (Especially the whole people pleaser part and wanting your next pregnancy to not attract any negative comments.) I am so incredibly happy for you having this new little life inside…it just made my Saturday morning! Praying you’ll feel better soon!
I just wanted to stop in and wish you well as you move forward with the pregnancy. It’s wonderful news.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They’ve inspired my own on the same topic.
Congratulations Abby and family! We LOVE having a “Party of Five” and I’m certain you will too! Prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy.
congrats! I love your blog! My sister and I read it all the time. She is a Junior at Auburn-currently on a mission trip in China- she will be so excited about your news when she gets back and I am a stay at home mom of 2 sweet children. I too had my first baby 5 weeks before my dad..50 at the time..died of cancer. Took us 3 yrs to get pregnant with her. God gave us this precious gift and took something else:)) Still struggle with that all the time. You are such and inspiration! Your family is precious.
Abby, Loved this post… isn’t He the most perfect orchestrator of life? We are thrilled for y’all and praying for this sweet baby! I hope you feel better very soon! Loved catching up this week!!
Abby,
It’s Becca-your “blog friend”! 🙂 🙂 🙂
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I will be praying that you are able to soak up and savor all of the precious moments the next few months are sure to hold. Your girls will make the sweetest big sisters!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with me on such a painful topic. We had a long chat with my husband’s oncologist Monday, and he seems to think more babies are indeed possible. Amen.
I’m rejoicing with you tonight girl, what a wonderful Maker we serve…
Hugs!
Abby!
Adam and I are so happy for ya’ll!!! congratulations!!!!!! We will be praying for your healthy pregnancy! Congrats again…we love ya’ll
Congratulations! I always love hearing the news of a little one on the way. Thank you for the last few paragraphs – I really needed to hear that. Hope you feel better soon!
Oh my goodness my eyes are full of tears…Congratulations!!!!!! Your honesty cuts straight to my heart, and it is so refreshing to hear someone be so open about their emotions. I love when God brings life full circle to such happy moments, and I couldn’t be happier that you are so happy! Can’t wait to see this new little one on here! 🙂
Abby, I am so excited for you guys! How wonderful and such a blessing! I will be praying for you to do well with feeling sick and that it will soon pass. I just can’t wipe the smile off my face! Such sweet news 🙂
Congratulations! What wonderful news and yes…God’s timing is always spot on! 😉
yay! wonderful news and such sweet blessings! keep us posted on your pregnancy and congrats to you and your family! p.s. i was sick through week 22 with my first and am scared to death of it being the same way with another! hearing you were sick with number 1 and it was better with number 2 is really encouraging!!!
Abby! So excited and happy for you guys! I was actually wondering if we’d hear this news sometime soon….and so thankful for God’s timing….(maybe it’ll be a little boy!?!) My sister-in-law is almost exactly as far a long as you are with number two-due at the end of December, so I’m excited for you both!
Praying that you all will enjoy this sweet time!
Praying your nausea goes away very soon. With my 1st son I think I was sick from conception and it lasted to the day he was born. I soon got a reputation in my home town of being the lady who would throw up in your store. It was such a joke that the shop owners would meet me at the door with a pail to be sick in. Soooo embarrassing! Thankfully, the other pregnancies were not so bad.
Many blessings on this child and the rest of your family.
Congratulations. What an exciting time in your lives! God is so good! His timing is perfect. Thanks for sharing and I pray you’ll feel better soon and will have a joy-filled pregnancy this time. I enjoy reading your blog so much!
Congratulations Abby!!! I am so thrilled for you and your family. How blessed you all are.
Abby! How exciting! Thank you for sharing this post. So beautiful. His timing is good and perfect, indeed.
Congratulations Abby! I so enjoy reading your thoughts and have been in a similar state myself. I have picked out certain months that husband and I feel is good timing to try for our first and I’ve been trying to control so many aspects of hopefully getting pregnant within the next year that it feels like work. I’ve read so many baby websites, blogs etc… and I feel even more overwhelmed LOL! When really I need to let go and let the lord provide. Again, thank you for being candid and hope you feel better soon.
Congrats! What a blessing! God is so good and full of blessings. I’ll be praying for you during this time!
How exciting!! Congrats to your family!
Congratulations! I was thinking the news might be coming soon since your posts had been somewhat sporadic lately:). SO excited for you FIVE and praying you feel better soon. I remember your sickness with Pace all too well. Can we go back to working together just for a little while? I’ll let you go back to the girls and Jeremiah but would love to see you! Miss you!
Congratulations! So happy for you and your family- and your posts always speak right to the heart. Thx for sharing!
Congratulations Abby and Jeremiah!!! I’m so excited for ya’ll!!! God is so good and He knows our needs and desires. Thank you for sharing your precious heart!
Congrats! Im so happy for you guys! I cant wait until you share if it’s a boy or a girl! are you going to find out? or let it be a surprise? i dont know if you could wait that long! =)
Congratulations, Abby! What great news! We are expecting our 3rd in November (we have 2 little girls and just found out it’s a boy:) and it’s a wonderfully exciting time. Praying for you and your newest little blessing.
Praise the Lord!
“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5
Also, some information that you may be interested in for the future.
http://www.prolife.com/BIRTHCNT.html
oh, abigail! congratulations! i think what is so amazing about Gods timing is that when we look back, it is always just right. which never feels good to admit but doesnt it feel wonderful to know that everything He does is so carefully and precisely orchestrated?
i love reading your blog and your honesty and am so excited for you!
You right so beautifully Abby. I am thrilled beyond words for you and your family. And maybe He knew that the perfect timing would be not moving with a hugely pregnant belly, but just a moderate sized one. 🙂
I KNEW I had read this somewhere!!! SO happy for you sweet Abs!!!
Oh I can not wait to find out what it is!!!!
xo
kb
Yea! We are so excited for all four of you! Hope you get to feeling better soon. Love the Mizes
Congratulations- what a sweet post!
yay!! So excited for you all! 🙂
yay!! So excited for you all! 🙂